remembering to breathe

Had a long and rough week. Way too much to do, and just 24 hours in a day. My friend N moved to a new house she and her husband bought recently. She's expecting her first baby, so T and I pitched in with packing etc. It took up most of our evenings, at least those when we weren't trying to get each others throats. A's husband called. She's pregnant too..... Suddenly I miss being pregnant. It's the best time ever - hog hog hog all you want, everyone showers their attention on you. And though your waistline expands, it's actually ok to let it happen!

One of our other friends in the area might move away too, by summer this year. Though we were closer to Nimmo than to these other people, I suddenly realized we could end up very lonely. I've never really left Megha with anyone else, but at least it was technically possible and I didn't have to drive 10 miles to reach a friend's place. Now every friend I have is a long drive away. I hate it. I hate it when friends move away and I have to go out and meet new people. I think I better start pestering T to buy a house too. Preferably somewhere where we have a bunch of friends.

Also realized today that my thesis prof expects me to turn up for class, and pitch my script. Ha ha. My script is a laugh, 'cos it still doesn't exist. At least on paper.

I'm feeling good about: Almost getting Cannery Row finished. It's probably the thinnest of all Steinbeck books, but it's taken me a year to get anywhere within 20 pages of finishing it. I like to close my eyes and imagine the scenes he describes, breathe flesh and blood into the characters he writes about. They're strays and vagabonds, and ne'er do wells in life, but it almost seems as though in their being nothingness, there is everything. There's a sweet sadness, a poignance to their simple lives. Somehow makes me feel there's hope yet for the world.

PS: My only real problem with the book is that it has almost no women. The only women I've seen so far are prostitutes, though Steinbeck is as generous with them as with the rest of his characters.